Wednesday, March 2, 2005

Plop plop fizz fizz

It's been another long while since I've written...Like it matters...I bet no one reads this.

Hmm...wonder what's going on with my self-esteem here.

So what happened in February?

I joined a Poli Sci class that had Japanese students come in for 5 weeks. The first weekend they were here we went to D.C., which was lots of fun...and strange.

It's silly, and I may have mentioned it before, but I hate how I feel like I have to censor myself in this spot. Should anyone read this, he or she may be offended with my posting. Perhaps if I used fake names it would work, but no. Forget it.

So D.C. was fun. We also went to Phili, which was pretty dull and cold. I had to study for my intercultural course and write my thesis, which is now a total of 0 pages.

I hate thinking about how my thesis is 0 pages. I wish it weren't.

So we were going over James Joyce's Portrait of an Artist... and he liked his epiphany spot--where no one bothered him, nothing was expected of him, and the like. He liked being alone. Sometimes I think I need to do that. I need some time for myself. I can't do that though because then I would feel ridiculous and bored. Ridiculous because everyone hates Stephen in the book because he is such a prig. Bored because I know how I feel when left completely alone.

I keep having these dreams about my worst trivial fears. Today I woke up because I dreamt about being made fun of in Chinese calligraphy class because that is what the teacher does to students she thinks are getting too cocky. In the dream, I wasn't cocky. I just had really poorly done calligraphy homework because I had woken up late. It was so stupid I had to wake up. Yesterday, I dreamt that I had to use the bathroom to take a shower and my mom was in the bathroom. It was like what had happened on Friday, but not, because on the towel curled by the sink was a pen and in that pen was a penis. No, no wait! The penis pen might have come from going into Condom Kingdom in Phili. Or the penis-nice story from a couple of years ago. Or the pen-is-nice story. Nevermind. I forget Sunday, but on Saturday morning I dreamt that Mital chose Dani and Tanuja to be bridesmaids for her wedding--which is fine and everything. It just seemed weird that she would choose Tanuja because I did/do not know how acquainted they really are.

Overall it makes me anxious to sleep. Over break, I used to have dreams about my thesis and it not getting done. This could be reality, yet I am not sure that I could live with myself for not trying.

The way I scheduled my classes these past years sucked. Who knew I needed a freakin language for Phi Beta Kappa? Who knew that I'd have an internship this year? German has taken up so much time as is this internship.

Ergh. Pep's phone is telling me something strange, and I am hungry.
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