Birthday Cloud

Yeah, it's a penis and balls.

Birthday Drinks at Pincher's

So in Florida there's this thing called happy hour

and you get discounted appetizers

and two for one drinks,

where you get those two drinks

at the same time,

so you'd better drink up that one beer

if you want to drink that second one while it's still cold.

I didn't drink.

I know, I know, it's my birthday!

It's my thirtieth birthday!

But someone had to be the designated driver.

And I don't really like drinking much anyway.

Jon got some margaritas.

My cousin Steven got a bucket of fun (or 32 oz of love).

It was orange creamsicle flavored with marshmallow vodka.

He loved it.

My cousin Sam got some beers.

The twins also got beers.

The minivan we rented for the six of us

was actually quite big.

We called her the gray whale.

With two clicks of a button on the remote,

both side doors opened or closed and as well as the trunk

(depending on which button you pushed).

It was so freakin cool.

But really, it was like driving a bus.

We passed by smaller and shorter SUVs and laughed at

their inferiority and puniness.

With the environmental/gas-saving thing on,

we save half a tank of gas,

which sucked for us since we prepaid.

Anyway, after birthday lunch

(which was sponsored by Wee!

Thanks, Wee!),

we went to the outlet mall.

The gray whale smelled like a drunk bus though.

And I was getting quite queasy.

It was a little rough when I had to roll up the windows because

of a downpour that we had to drive through,

but we made it in one piece

and bought out the place!

Steven treated me to not one, but TWO pairs of shoes!

Such a good birthday!

I wish I could have one every day!

(Like two of these bags are actually mine.

But it's a deceptively funny photo, isn't it?)

Prebirthday Flowers!

On my last Friday as a twenty-nine year old,

I received a bouquet of flowers.

I nearly dropped the ball on this one though.

An unrecognizable phone number kept calling my cell phone,

but when it called my work,

I was like WTF? 

Who could this possibly be?

And why don't they just leave a message?

Turns out it was the flower delivery dude.

I had no idea who they were from.

And I thought that perhaps he just go the wrong person.

Jon had tried sending flowers to work

when I interned at the TimeWarner Book Group (now Hachette)

the summer I turned twenty-one.

I think I got them the next day--a little worn for the wear

of being traveled around in the hot June weather.

They were from Dani, Sarm, and Hetal! 

Such awesome, awesome ladies.

Aren't the flowers just gorgeous?

I love the peach.

It's vibrant and happy and summery and fun.

Last year I bought myself two dozen peachy/orange roses.

It was so nice that someone else thought to give me flowers!

I love flowers!

I wish I could've brought them to Florida with me.

When I got them at work, I set them on my desk

and every time I looked up it reminded me of how awesome

my friends are and how turning thirty isn't so bad.

They love me anyway.

I brought them home,

and set them in the corner of the computer screen/our TV.

Happy flowers.

Happy day.

I brought them with me to my aunt's house

and gave them to her since I couldn't bring them to Florida.

It brightened my day,

and rather than wilt and die in my apartment while I was gone,

I hoped to brighten hers.

Birthday flowers!!!

Joy's 30th Birthday Dinner

We went to Chez Sardine for Joy's 30th birthday dinner.

It was a nice intimate affair

with great travel stories that featured

a lot of food

and a delicious array of food and drinks in our mouths

that filled our bellies.

It was some good celebrating.

I made the card above in the morning:

Liberty of London stationery carved into a 3 and 0.

I wanted more space to write

the secret thing I've been writing in my cards

so I didn't cut out the 0.

I rather like how it looks still filled in

and unmarred by the 0's gash.

What do you think?

60th Birthday, 30th Anniversary, Oh My!

My parents' 30th anniversary was the day we got back from Istanbul.

My aunt's 60th birthday was the day before today.

We went out to celebrate at a restaurant in Montclair.

This was delicious pineapple upside-down cake and salted caramel ice cream.

This was apple tart a la mode. Also delicious.

Here are Wee and Chris.

They were sitting across from us, so it was really easy to take a photo of them.

I wish I got a photo of my parents,

but it's cool.

Just imagine really happily married people.

The Rispoli Cannoli Cake (and Pep Turns 30)

The Rispoli cannoli cake is a thing of magic.

My family has been ordering Rispoli since forever.

Their lobster claws are legendary for a snack.

Their cannoli cakes are legendary for special occasions.

You have to make sure you order it correctly though

or else you'll probably be disappointed:

whipped cream

cannoli

chocolate pudding

and strawberries.

No rum.

When our friend Pep got into Columbia med school,

we celebrated with his favorite:

a cannoli cake.

But I totally messed up the order:

Rum, maybe?

I don't remember. 

I got really sick from the cake sugar and champagne

that I passed out on my way to the bathroom.

But definitely buttercream and nuts.

Blech.

I got it right when he graduated med school/got into Columbia residency at least.

There's something beautiful that happens with the way

the whipped cream, chocolate pudding, cannoli, and strawberries

moisten the underlying cake.

It's like heaven in your mouth.

The cannoli cake seems to be a phenomenon of northern Jersey.

Pep turned 30 last month,

and he couldn't find one in the stupid city of Boston to celebrate properly with.

Nor does Rispoli ship cakes.

(Do you ship delicate masterpieces? Probably not.)

In any case, he was in town to take some test,

and we got him a cake and a lot of White Castle to celebrate.

Like a lot of White Castle.

Birthdays are the best with cannoli cake.

And becoming older isn't as terrible.

The Best Toast: "I hope you don't have any issues."

My family doesn't really drink.

We buy liquor for our guests when we have them over

for a special occasion,

but that's about it.

Around Christmas they sometimes get booze from customers/coworkers.

This one time when I was twelve,

I thought my dad's plastic circus cup

had cranberry juice in it,

so I took a big gulp,

but it was red wine.

So I spat it all over the floor.

So when Wee and Chris got engaged,

we were all at a loss of sparkling beverages.

We found a bottle of this over twenty-year-old blueberry champagne

from my dad's cousin's wedding.

That wedding was on LBI,

and we all have weird memories about how we got there

and what we wore.

I swear Wee and I wore our matching acid-wash denim outfits

that either our aunt or dad's cousin got for us.

My skirt had a few ruffles.

We looked cool.

That bottle's cork didn't pop.

It smelled like vinegar.

So he poured it down the drain.

He and my mom tried a Korbel gift too,

which promptly went down the drain.

We opened a bottle of Martinelli's,

which was fresh,

though I felt it tasted a little off.

And to top everyone off,

a bottle of Trader Joe's sparkling grape juice.

My mom's toast can be easily summed up in the most ineloquent part of it:

"I hope you don't have any issues."

It was funny, practical, and well meaning.

She has to work on some synonyms though.

She swears that she gets buzz from sparkling juices,

but we think that the bubbles just go to her head.

Jon found this speech hilarious--see above.

And he toasted my dad for his birthday with:

"I hope you don't have any issues."

Cheers!

Kampai!

Chris's Keens Delicious Awesome Birthday

For Chris's birthday,

we went to Keens Steakhouse.

It was delicious.

Our takeaway bag sits on our pile of bags,

and Jon reminisces about how good his mutton chop was

every time he sees it.

Wee and Chris asked if we were interested in getting appetizers,

and I was like,

you don't understand how big your steak's going to be.

Let's just order them. 

Chris's steak was about the size of Wee.

Wee's is about the size of her torso.

Dom's the size of his head.

I couldn't even get Jon and his mutton chop in the same frame.

That was like the size of Wee and Dom when they were

in my mom's uterus.

These photos are terribly dark,

but I got a huge delicious steak that I ate the next day too.

Sides! Mmm. The best.

A bibble.

Mmm. Sooo good!

What's a bibble?

Strawberries and cherries and sugar

with some

(say it with me in a South Park voice)

creme fraiche.

A takeaway bag.

That's what we looked like afterward.

And then we found a hat on Chris's car

because it was parked outside of a bar on the street.

A lewd hat.

Is that boobs on a butt?

That's definitely boobs.

Perhaps this was foreshadowing their engagement

the following weekend?

My Dad's Superawesome Birthday

The birthday boy,

showing off his muscles.

He's going to the gym nowadays!

He loves the mask.

In addition to the magic candles as a kind of entertainment--

I love the Daddy face--

my mom played the happy birthday song on her ukelele.

She got it all right,

but she needs to practice a bit more,

so there aren't any eight beat rests between notes.

Also my daddy's belly,

when it's jiggling from laughing with my mom

at her efforts,

doesn't make the best music stand.

For dinner we had tons of paella and shrimp with green sauce

from our go-to Spanish restaurant in the belly of Hudson County.

We failed getting/making him a cake,

but these roll cakes from Mitsuwa

were very close to yodels.

Someday soon you elusive yodel cake,

you will be made!

A Present for Someone Turning Thirty *or Whatever Age

Last year my friend Charleen turned thirty,

and for her birthday

I got a little inspired with the gift-card holder that

I got with a gift-card purchase at Anthropologie.

(By the way, she was getting married later in the year,

so I wasn't being weirdly pushy about it or anything.)

I thought this might be a little inspirational to someone

who's thinking of what to get someone turning thirty,

especially since a ton of us are coming of that age this year.

What's that?

Oh, I mean, we're turning twenty-five!

Ew, thirty is, like, so old.

I guess that for whatever age

this nifty little gift works for a variety of people.

Who doesn't like lists to ponder?

And gift-card money to spend?

I'm sure cash would work well too.

If you do find yourself making one of these,

let me know how it goes!