Kodak Instamatic Camera

My Popo brought this camera

to give to my mom

to send to my cousin

since she collects old cameras.

I wonder what crazy stuff this

camera has seen.

Fresh Direct Bluenanas Are in Season!

Jon and I ordered a few bunches

of these new bluenanas

before they ran out.

As a blue food they're supposedly

very high in antioxidants

and very good for memory, diabetes, and everything.

I also read that even though the plant

is carnivorous, 

it only eats Smurfs,

so humans wandering 

through a bluenana grove

are safe, 

and it helps keep the Smurf population down, 

thankfully.

But in all actuality,

Jon was pretty excited about this

until he realized it was a joke.

I'd warned him this morning not to be fooled too!

Now he's a bit disappointed.

If bluenanas tasted anything

like bananas and blueberries,

I'd be very disappointed they didn't actually exist too,

but who knows, man?!

Who knows?!

My Green Thumb (?)

For Christmas 2011,

Jon got me a device that grows stuff in foam.

I opened it up the other day,

and planted some Japanese tomato seeds that

he got me in spring 2012.

At first nothing seemed to grow,

but then they started to sprout!

And shortly after,

they grew some more!

And some more!

Now I have no idea what to do once or if they actually grow into

a real tomato plant.

(I feel like they're probably going to rip themselves out of the machine.)

But trial and error and all

that survival of the fittest stuff.

Grow, my little ones!

Grow! 

Traveling with Baby Chase, His Terrible Parents, and Other Things About Flying That Suck

I'm feeling like a major poop today.

Our flight back (LAX to EWR) yesterday/this morning was suboptimal.

There was a toddler

who would just

NOT

SHUT

UP.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHing

into my ear

EHH, EHHHH, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH!

for four of the five and a half hours of the flight.

I've never hated a baby before,

but, Baby Chase,

you are on my shit list.

Your useless parents, too.

Your parents should've tried the following:

1) drugged you--there's a lovely thing called Benadryl that makes kids tired 

and miraculously a side effect is that it makes the people around you on a cramped airplane

not want to throw you and your parents off the plane 

or give you something to really be upset about.

::punches fist in palm::

(MAKE NOTE: Sleeping babies are adorable; red, crying ones suck.)

2) apologized profusely to the neighboring passengers, for having terrible luck of having given birth to the Devil's spawn, and bought them DirectTV and headphones and/or alcohol for the flight.

(I saw something like this on TV. I thought it was brilliant.)

3) entertained you more--you were obviously bored, so was I. 

But what did your dumb dad do with his tablet? 

He watched a movie until the battery died instead of playing a dumb game with you.

Which is why your dumb parents should've had some BOOKS.

(I have many recommendations.)

Option three is a bit risky, but if you're averse to drugging your kids,

it's a good option--but only if you're up for the task.

If your entertainment requires sound though, bring headphones for your baby.

I don't want to be listening to some drowsy man sing Twinkle Little Star

every time your kid hits an image of a star or something.

(As a side note: If you're a good person, you don't give kids toys with noise.

You leave it up to their parents to decide 

what obnoxious sound they can tolerate for hours on end.)

I myself am too cheap to do option two though I feel that would be totally baller,

which is why I'd go with option one IF I desperately had to bring a child on a plane.

Which leads to the obvious question of: Why do people bring babies on planes?

My parents always drove to their destination with my siblings and me when

we were too small to reliably behave like humans.

I don't see why more people can't do that.

Anyway . . .

the plane was booked to capacity due to a noon flight

being rescheduled to an hour after our flight took off.

I don't understand why more people didn't just want to wait the extra hour

because what happened was that our flight was an hour late taking off anyway.

The airlines really need to figure out a balance between

not charging for carry-ons and getting everyone's shit on board on time.

Because the Tetris game of fitting everyone's shit into a nearby overhead bin is what delayed us.

(Jon and I checked our bags--squishy backpack-type luggage

that fit BEAUTIFULLY in overhead luggage bins

--because I have free bag-check privileges.)

Also airlines need to figure out how to NOT punish people

who checked their bags and don't have any overhead storage as a result.

(Jon and me.)

Because waiting to leave the back of a plane when you've got all your shit ready to go

for twenty minutes (at least)

with Baby Chase or similar useless people,

who cannot take down their hundred pound carry-on from the overhead bin,

is soul-sucking.

Fact is that sitting at the back of the plane can save your life

(the middle will crack in half and you can fall to your death

and the front of the plane will go up in flames).

But what about the soul-sucking?

What about the

soul-sucking?

Baby Chase,

soul-sucker extraordinaire.

How Did That Get in My Mouth?

The other day I was talking to Lakshmi,

and I started coughing on something.

Though I had a summer cold

for half of the summer

(seems like it was allergies),

this cough was different.

This cough

was due to something odd in my throat.

So I pulled that oddity out of my mouth,

and what was it?

Well, I'm not sure.

Hay?

A piece of grass?

We were in Soho/Noho.

Lakshmi's phone provides a black background

for the piece of . . .

something

that I pulled out of my mouth.

Weird.

Gross.

New York Hall of Science

So besides Gwenyth Paltrow and her kids,

there were a few other activities

at the New York Hall of Science.

This display in the photo above 

took an image with one light,

and another image with another light,

and a third light erased it all.

It was cool.

This showed our hotness levels.

Short legs!

Long torso!

This is the hall of mirrors.

It was incredibly lame.

There was this mirror and two others.

Chris threw three balls:

baseball,

tennis ball,

and golf ball.

The experiment was to see which one went the fastest.

Guess which one went the fastest!

I had to zoom in.

Wee climbed all the way 

to the top of the rock climbing wall

WITHOUT a harness or anything but her purse.

Freakin' animal.

Not all things were Wee-awesome though.

She's as tall as a display showing how many molecules

--as represented by sand--

would represent a short human.

(Most likely meant to be a kid.)

(Okay, fine. She's just a bit taller.)

What's that?

Ha-ha, you flatter us.

We're not actually astronauts,

we just look like them. . . .

posing in the exact same way.

Jon's body shrunk.

I think Wee is hunched over slightly.

I'm a bit on my tippy toes.

Space suits are amazing!

Next to the display was a giant fan 

that you could power by pedaling a bike.

It had the tiniest seat

that looked mightily uncomfortable.

A very large boy

enthusiastically demonstrated it for us though. 

We thought about heading into space since we were dressed

in our space gear anyway, but then Jon remembered

the aqua fresca lady selling that and some Mexican food

out of a shopping cart

under the nearby underpass.

(Thank goodness she went back to her minivan to go home instead.

I could just imagine the stomachaches from eating

street shopping cart food.)

That's the Hall of Science

as taken from afar

on a very hot Saturday.

Maybe when we have kids old enough to run around

it'd be worth going back,

but as adults,

it's really not that great of a place to spend your day.

We really should have gone to the beach,

in spite of the predication of rain!

Sony Cyber-Shot DSC-RX100: the Unboxing

Jon got me a fancy new camera for my birthday.

(Thanks, B!)

He says that this is what the Internet calls

an "unboxing."

This is an envelope with the instructions

that sits at the top.

I've been meaning to read those instructions. . . .

(And at the bottom of the frame are my shorts and legs. . . .)

There she is!

She's all set up and ready to go.

I want my first picture to be of something awesome though.

Like awesome clouds or a sunset or something.

Unfortunately, the whole weekend was crap--

between copyediting/Americanizing work and having a hacking cough.

I need to go somewhere cool

to take cool cloud and or sunset photos.

20 megapixel cloud photos!!!

Friday the 13th: Watching the New York Philharmonic at Central Park's Great Lawn

View from the very south of the Great Lawn

Jon and I walked up 

from 53rd Street to 84th Street

to get sushi

before heading to the concert.

It was as hot as a balls.

Jon and his cell phone

We ate our sushi

while listening to the NY Philharmonic.

We sat while it drizzled.

The humidity broke slightly.

Around 9 p.m. there was an intermission.

Masses left.

At about 84th Street

when we entered the Great Lawn we're about

parallel to the bandstand.

I wanted to get a good seat for the fireworks,

lots of open sky,

so we walked down to the edge of the Great Lawn,

at about 75th Street.

I have no idea who goes

to a classical concert to look at the musicians,

but we heard well enough from the back.

My motive for going

And luckily, that was THE BEST spot

to see the fireworks.

Fireworks are hard to take photos of
with a cell phone

The fireworks started at ten and lasted for thirteen minutes.

They were huge and pretty.

One had a star inside a circle.

Fancy!

There's another concert on Monday.

Hopefully, it won't be rained out!

The Day the Enterprise Landed on the Intrepid (or When I Escaped the Sun-Shower)

The Enterprise is now on the Intrepid!

Posing as a West Side Highway jogger,

I set off to see one of my favorite aircrafts ever:

the Enterprise,

on one my favorite aircraft carriers ever:

the Intrepid.

Full-disclosure:

I didn't jog.

Ha-ha-ha!

Me? Jogging.

I walked at a pace that felt fast to me,

while listening to some awesome tunes

on my Michael Jackson station

on Pandora.

I LOVE the Intrepid.

There she is!

The Enterprise!

Quite a beauty.

Jon and I saw her upclose and personal

at the Udvar-Hazy Center in 2009.

It was two weekends before we moved from Virginia

back to New Jersey.

I remember that we went to the the UHC,

and the only thing we did to contribute to our move that Saturday

was buy packing tape from Home Depot.

It was the best way to procrastinate

because moving is a terrible chore.

Anyway, today

there were some guys beneath her,

welding her to the ship or something.

This looks like a space capsule thing,

wearing an inner tube.

Is it a space capsule thing,

wearing an inner tube?

(At this time, I can't really confirm.)

 

There are so many tires on this barge!

I think they're used tires from giant vehicles,

so it's nice that it was recycled 

as bumpers for the barge.

I believe this is how the Enterprise was hoisted onto the boat.

Fatty space ship.

My mom got some good pics of it

when it was brought in to the Intrepid

earlier this afternoon.

That's a pretty tall crane.

Kathleen the tugboat helped out.

I like her BBQ.

There was a tugboat named Shelby nearby.

She just, like, stood there.

Shelby. . . .

 

A helicopter kept circling around.

Maybe for the news?

The clouds started to roll in,

so I moseyed on home.

Good-bye, Enterprise!

Good-bye, Intrepid!

On Eleventh Avenue by The Daily Show,

there's a building called St. Mary's.

I wonder what that's about.

(Again, another fruitless Google search;

though it's in a slide show for potential

historic sites.)

In the Clinton DeWitt Park

across the street,

lilies grow.

Once I sat down to start writing up this blog,

it started to rain.

Giant clouds and pockets of sun.

I was lucky to have escaped being soaked.

It was a really nice way 

to spend a gorgeous June afternoon.

Transit of Venus

Today it's too cloudy

to stare at the sun

to see the transit of Venus.

Luckily there's great coverage by NASA

from Hawaii.

Thanks, NASA!

Daydream Believer

Oh, Davy Jones.

I used to love The Monkees. I had no idea who the Beatles were until I was in maybe middle school. I couldn't even tell you who was the real band and the, ehrm, fake. The episode of The Simpson's when Marge is made fun of for liking The Monkees made me kind of wonder why people thought they were cheesy, but people are dumb and mean about cool things all the time.

Anyway, the Monkees! They were the best.

I remember that they had a TV show after preschool and kindergarten. I couldn't really understand fashion at that point, so I guess they looked normal to me. I watched it with my dad when he got home from work. My grandma would come home from work in the city as the show was ending, and that all meant that dinner was coming up soon. Mmm . . . dinner as a kid. I guess my mom was dealing with my siblings or something. I don't remember watching The Monkees with her, but I know I watched it a ton, so she must've seen it with me at some point.

But those four guys, they sang and danced, and got into pratfalls and high jinks. They were hilarious! It was my favorite TV show besides The Elephant Show with Sharon, Lois, and Bram.

I wasn't a Davy Jones groupie as a four- and five-year-old. I liked Mike's floppy hats, and Micky too sometimes, when he didn't remind me of an ape (and kind of scared me). I don't remember Peter--just that they had four guys, so I guess he was one of them.

I have to admit, that I didn't understand why Davy got all the girls. He played the tambourine at most of their gigs! I could play the tambourine! With the help of YouTube I now see that he played or "played" a bunch of instruments, but mostly the tambourine in the very famous Monkees songs.

Anyway, Davy Jones, you daydream believer, you made me a very happy kid once upon a time. Rest in peace.

TGIF!

Stealth Mountain
Just look at those peaks!

Despite the freezing temperatures and the chance of snow, it's Friday, and I know this weekend will be awesome:

Jon's back from nearly being ambushed by deer at this scary hotel.

Speaking of scary, this homemade video has been my life for the past week or so.

Check out Stealth Mountain (@StealthMountain). Now to start a twitter bot that scolds people for using "alot" instead of "a lot."

Some DIY/craft blogs with such cute stuff: Thanks, I Made It, with an i.e., Dismount Creative, Wit & Whistle. I'm looking at you Morse code necklace.

It's the last weekend to slide at the New Museum, so it's now or never. 

Monday is Chinese New Year's day! Wear some red for luck.

What I want to do for my twenty-ninth birthday.

TGIF!

Day 46

I feel like it's been the rainiest fall ever. I don't like it, but I guess it might as well rain if I have to be at work and the sun sets at 6 p.m.

It's hard doing anything on this computer nowadays because the sofa mouse has just gotten really terrible. Since we're situated basically two feet in front of the monitor/TV though, I think it's dumb that we don't just have a wire mouse. My wrist hurts from shaking it--as if shaking it would actually help the situation. Maybe I need to blow the dust out from somewhere. That worked for Nintendo games anyway.

Make it rain, tassle lady. Make it rain.

Day 45

Another animation. Click the stars.

This Photoshop animation is one that I've been working on for about a week from conception to drawing the water towers and stars and then putting it all together. (The first Google link on how to animate in Photoshop is incredibly helpful and easy to follow.) Hopefully, I'll soon get beyond the sun rising and get into something grittier. Like a noir piece. Or a rap video.

Speaking of rap videos, have you seen this?

She's my hero. I'd be her for Halloween or at least the little blonde next to her because I have no idea what this "Super Bass" song actually is and they're dressed like princesses (!), but Jon wants to go as Terence and Philip from South Park. Ehh . . .

Whoa. I just looked up the lyrics for Super Bass. Wow, kids are hilarious.

Eels.

Day 44

Click the sun to see animation. I dare you.

Trying to teach myself how to animate things in Photoshop. Trust me. When I figure this ish out, it's going to be awesome.