!@#$ and %^&*

So while in college, I had worked at Don Maass, Marcel Dekker, Columbia University Press, Simon & Schuster, and Time Warner Book Group, and since graduation I've applied to Taylor & Francis (who now owns Marcel Dekker), Simon & Schuster, and TWBG. I've gotten interviews at S&S, FSG, HarperCollins, and Penguin. And now the only one who hasn't rejected me is HarperCollins. And the only one who didn't ask me to do a report for them is HarperCollins. And the best interview was at HarperCollins. And the best fit is at HarperCollins.

And I spent $200 something on books from FSG. And I spent two semesters at BFYR. I could have asked to intern at Scribner instead, which probably would have given me that "experience" that FSG wanted. And where did staying at BFYR get me? It got me a production job. It's as if all my other editorial experience were worth nothing. And what's the point of having done any of these internships really? I should have just did one of those stupid publishing courses and worked on my tan and wardrobe at a JCrew instead of actually exploring my interests and gaining any experience at all.

If I took the production job I'd be employed. If I left BFYR and the crazy people there I would have had a better chance at FSG.

And now I'm just fat and unemployed and bored out of my mind. And I really hate it. I feel like burning all my books because I hate staring at them.

I just really feel like I'm wasting my life and it blows.