Friday, June 25, 2010

I'm a World-Record Breaker x2 This Week

It was a big week for me.

I participated in the world's largest yoga class, which I mentioned got rained out.

I was also published in the world's longest literary remix.

Here's my passage:

Page 104 by Christina Solazzo

“Then all I can say is, strangers, that you sleep uncommon sound.”

“I do, except for my sleep apnea,” said Bickford. “What about them fairy godmothers? Any of them around?”

“I think so,” said the Pike, “but it was dark. Maybe midnight. There were pumpkins and mice. Their squeaking woke me up. I saw a glass slipper, and in the canyon, a man’s voice echoed ‘’ella, ’ella. Eh, eh, eh.’”

“Do you think he was singing the ‘Umbrella’ song?”

“‘Umbrella!’” the Pike, incredulous at the suggestion, spat out. “No, he was calling for Cinderella. The Rip-tail Roarer of Rihanna knows all of her lyrics. I can whip my weight in karaoke-ing Rihanna—”

“Yes, we know you can,” interrupted Joshua. “You demonstrated it to us yesterday and the day before and last Tuesday at happy hour.”

The Pike rolled his eyes at Joshua, who only mastered the lyrics to “Love Shack” and ABBA, but Mr. Bickford appeared to credit this statement.

The Pike resumed his story. “Anyway, I hopped on my scooter and gave them chase.”

“Did they see you?”

“They did.”

“Why aren’t you dead then?”

“Why?” repeated the Pike. “I’m the Rip-tail Roarer of Rihanna. They knew they were no contest against my skillz.”

“Fo sho!”

“Kill any of them?” asked Joe.

“No, I left my tuner back here, so I couldn’t properly warm up to actually start anything.”

“It’s right there,” said Joshua, who put it back next to the Pike’s pillow because his own tuner had no batteries.

The Pike took it and played a note, which he then sang a little sharply.

“Then they’re not going to make it to semifinals?”

“No, but I drove them away. They won’t trouble you any more.”

Christina Solazzo is a managing editor at a children’s publisher.

The guy who will probably win one of the prizes did this:

And I'm okay with not winning a literary contest or that there was rain at the yoga event. It was just nice to be invited to participate.
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