Thursday, February 28, 2013

Gross: This One's About Feet and Blood


I feel like a voodoo doll! 
Today I got three of my moles removed/biopsied for skin cancer. 
I'm in such uncomfortable pain. 

Right after I left the doctor to get to work, 
my band aid fell off and there was blood everywhere. 
It was so gross. 
SO, SO GROSS! 
Because it was on the underside of my Dom toe.

(What is a Dom toe?
As you might be able to tell,
my middle toe and ring toe are about the same height.
My siblings, Wee and Dom, are twins.
My toes basically predicted I'd have twin siblings, of course.
I call the ring one Dom because he's the later chunky baby twin,
and the middle one Wee because she was the scrawny little baby twin.
I wrote this fact on a getting-to-know-you card in a college English course.)

Anyhoo. Yuck. 

I got to work and I found the band aide floating over by my big toe
and threw that out.
I sopped up as much blood in my shoe as I could.
I wrapped Dom toe in a paper towel.

I washed my hands, and I got to work.
(There are sales materials to be done, people!
And actual books due in stores in May.
What's a little blood?)

Luckily the anesthesia worked for a short while.
I took some Advil too.



It looks like what you imagine it would, but worse.


And this is the bleeding toe from Istanbul.

Anyway, back to the moles story.

These lacerations are going to be ugly scars too. I just know it. 
The doctor was really nice, but she didn't know how to make nice circles. 

AND I have my period--one of the heavy days. 

I feel like I am being drained of blood. 
It was the worst decision ever. 
Though I'm betting skin cancer is probably more uncomfortable. 

The other one is on my back and the last is on my belly. 
It is hard eating (because my belly expands when I eat)
and laughing (again the belly). 
Grr.

The one on my back just sometimes feels sore/itchy. 
So I put some more Vaseline on it to shut it up.
What a bitch.
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